I've got a photo of Marilyn Monroe on my wall. She's sitting biting her pinky nail and balancing cigarette holder perched between her pointer and index finger. Her hair is in that amazing curly bob that she was known for. No matter what pose I've seen her in, this will always be my favorite. It's the only one where she looks like she isn't "turning it on" for the camera. I imagine it's one where the photographer caught her in between posed shots, and managed to capture the sensuality that is all her own, not the sexuality harnessed and churned out by the Hollywood machine.
I've always been attracted to Marilyn, or at least the myth that is Marilyn Monroe. It's never been her story necessarily, for we all know that ended tragically, nor was it her on screen characters per se. There's just always been something about her presence. Unlike other movie stars, who generally make me covet one thing or another about them, Marilyn always seems to invoke a sense of peace in me. She's beauty and sensuality without the guilt in a sense, and despite the fact that she was certainly preened in many ways to become man's ideal, she was in no way cookie-cutter. Some of her most risqué outfits were worn during her more curvaceous periods, and when you see her in them, you're instantly blown away by the confidence radiating from every inch of her body. Whether she truly felt that beautiful at her core or not, it's always been a reminder to me that confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear, and that's been a motto I've lived by for quite a long and happy time now.
Anyway, I've been thinking of this particularly today because I found a quote from the Blond Bombshell herself:
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
This quote made me fall even more deeply in love with Marilyn, because it reminded me of something that I've said over and over again, and yet haven't quite stuck with in practice. A man who deserves you is a man that realizes that the good comes with the bad, and as long as the good outweighs the bad, it's worth the effort. (Let us remember that this quote does not give you the right to be a crazy bitch, just the right to be yourself in all your many shades.) And a girl who knows her worth should feel comfortable being herself all of the time, since anyone worth a second thought is going to know just what you have to offer.
But, like I said... when it comes to practicing this nugget of wisdom, I often fall short. Most recently I've been trying to figure out how to have a discussion with a boy about what exactly it is that we're doing. I'm not asking to be his girlfriend by any stretch of the imagination, but knowing whether or not we're seeing other people would probably be a healthy thing to know. (I mean, if he's seeing other girls, you bet your ass I'm going to start letting guys have my number!) Yet, as I've been thinking about bringing it up, I've been coming up with all of the different ways I can say it to sound the least clingy, make it less "serious," and give him the most amount of options (read: outs) possible for response. So, when I read this quote, I remembered something. A man worth my time is not someone who gives me attitude over the simple question of, "Hey, are we sleeping with each other exclusively?"I mean... it's a simple and very important question. I'm not flooding his phone with calls and texts. I'm not getting jealous over this, that, and the other thing. I'm merely asking a question in hopes of a frank answer. When it comes to the crazy scale that I'm capable of... that other girls are capable of??? It's nothing.
So, I encourage myself and you girls (You know what? Guys too! Just switch the genders around.) to listen to Marilyn. You are what you are, if you're my friends I can promise you that you're not bat-shit crazy, and you deserve to have someone that lets you be exactly what you are. So, have the uncomfortable talks, relax about whether or not you have been the one instigating all the texts, and know that someone walking away is a blessing, because it saved you from wasting your time on someone who doesn't deserve any of it.
I also encourage you to read all of these quotes. You'd be surprised how many wonderful things she had to say, and each and every one of them has the possibility of being just the thing you need to get you where you want to go.
Marilyn Monroe's Pearls of Wisdom