So, today I was thinking about the fact that I am an adult. I'm an adult, and for the first time in the 6 years that I've been one, I actually feel like one... almost.
As I constantly try to remind myself, and as certain people never fail to remind me, I have had a life that hasn't exactly been tough. I had personal issues for a handful of years, which I may or may not blog about one day, but I've always had parents that love me, food on the table, and support in my every endeavor. Not to mention that I graduated from college without debt. Doesn't get much sweeter than that, right?
So, it's not surprising that I never felt like an adult. I never really had to be one. All I ever had to be was a student, succeed at the goals that I and my parents set for me (in my defense, they were quite lofty), and continue to not be a drug addict.
I'm not saying that I'm now poverty-stricken with absent parents and a baby to support, but I hope that I don't need to be in order to consider myself an adult. I'm a hard-working, tax-paying, organ donor with savings in an ETF that has earned 10% this year. In the words of one of the two boys that played the little kid in "Bid Daddy" - "I wipe my own ass!"
I've also got confidence and have gotten my shit together emotionally. It might have taken years, but I worked hard to love myself, and am now at a point that some people never reach. When I say I'm awesome... I believe it!
And yet, when it comes to boys... I feel like I'm still a kindergartner. So, I'm trying to break this bad habit. And it starts with an assumption - he won't call, and that's okay.
What do I mean? You dance with a boy, you make out with him, whatever. Numbers are exchanged, and you hit the moment where it's in his hands. Then you fast forward togets to a handful of days later, and although it's not too late, you're starting to doubt the call will come in. There are now two choices. You can either take whatever fun moment you had as an ego boost and a good memory, and move on with your life... or you can do what I usually do. "Is he going to call?" "Why hasn't he called?" "What's wrong?!" Or perhaps you push friends to meddle, or take the first step and call him. (Which... really never works, no matter how much guys may say they like a girl who can take charge, and no matter how genuinely your friends try to help.) It's time I start doing the former.
And today, that is what I am doing. Or, if I'm being honest, trying my best to do. I made out with a boy on Sunday. It was a hoot. He asked for my number, and wrote his number on a receipt for me. As we left the bar, he said, "Call me," and I said, "You first," in a very playful manner. And now it's Friday, and I have not received a call.
Now, there are possibilities I have let run through in my head. 1) He didn't hear my say, "You first," and expects me to call. 2) He knows he'll see me Sunday at bowling, and is a boy, so he figures he'll talk to me there and that's that. 3) He's in a coma.
Most likely, he and I were drunk, we made out, and despite talking for 5 hours before the making out part, he is completely satisfied with that moment having come and gone.
So, this is me, being an adult: HOORAY! I MADE OUT WITH A BOY, AND IT WAS FUN, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO MAKE OUT WITH MORE BOYS!
Am I convincing? I'm gonna say it until it's true!
Needless to say, I chuckled pretty hard when these two gems popped up in my message box:
Wait, was it hilariously fuck a serious girl?
or seriously fuck a hilarious girl?
or fuck a hilariously serious girl...
I swear I'm not that sleezy, 'just wanted your attention ;)
Cute, cute, CUTE!! Hey, I like writing thoughtful messages but I'm starting to think nobody on here replies to ANYTHING! Write me back, then I'll write you something better than this, promise. You're just too cute and I thought I'd make an attempt at getting on your radar :)
Have a swell day!
Ooops! 'Not going to bullshit you, that last message was a copy/paste that applied to someone else. I meant to only send you the "Cute, cute, CUTE" part, onward. Although, I do only send it to girls who really strike me for one reason or another, so, hopefully there's a compliment in there somewhere :)
Apparently I should be okay with him stock messaging me, because he only does it for special girls!!! I'm SPECIAL!!! ;-)
I joined a Facebook group called, "I like cupcakes and making out" my freshman year of college. (That's right! I liked cupcakes before the whole cupcake storm hit the United States!) You might remember that I referenced this same Facebook group several months back... Here. Anyway, I've always remembered that I love cupcakes, but some lackluster kissing partners made me forget how much I love making out.
Until last night...
But let's back up, and think of who I've been making out with for the past several months.
Well, there was this guy who's name I honestly can't remember right now. He was cute, and he... OH! His name was Drew. Having blog archives is so helpful! Anyway, we made out like... once. I don't know why I wasn't all about it, because the kid really was hot, but he didn't put any sort of OOMPH behind his kiss. It was lazy. Lazy lazy lazy, and that's a kissing sin.
Then there was Bobby. Bobby's tongue was big. I'm not kidding! It was really thick, and just kind of took over my mouth. I mean, the making out wasn't horrible, but my tongue felt a little crowded.
Next was Sam. Okay... Sam was very fun, but we didn't exactly have make-out sessions. We'd make out for a grand total of about 2 minutes before moving elsewhere and playing... ahem... well... you know. So, Sam was fun for a whole different reason.
Then there was Howard. With Howard, it also wasn't 100% about the kissing. Or, at least, not on the lips. He had a big thing for necks, and torsos, and arms, and ears, and only after attending to them heavily, he'd actually kiss my lips for a little bit. I'm not complaining!!! I will never be able to look at lemon mousse again without getting a little hot under the collar. It just... wasn't the high-school style making out that I live for.
Then there was Stephen. It was fun... but the next day I found out he wasn't interested in me, which soured the memory a bit.
Oh! There was that one horrible kisser thrown in somewhere around there. (He inspired the bad-kissers post back in April.) I had actually spent the whole date practicing my moderating skills, and apparently gave him the impression that I was extremely interested. So, he walked me home and pounced on my lips. Not only was I not attracted to him, but the kiss was like an epileptic fit. There was no control, no rhythm, no sense of direction. It was like a baby bird trying to feed. Just... awful! I actually pulled away at one point and said, "Look, it would appear that we just aren't getting our act together." To which he replied:
"Just give me a second to get used to you."
What?! Making out is as natural as BREATHING people!!!! I was shocked, stunned, speechless. I made him go home.
Anyway, last night brought me back to my love affair with good-ol' fashioned making out. The kind where you are making out just for the sake of making out. Hearty, fog-up-your-glasses making out. Don't-care-who-sees-you-because-you-have-forgotten-other-people-exist making out. Tingles-from-head-to-toe making out. Desperate-for-contact making out. It was like I was 17 again, catching a make-out session in the back of my car before dashing home to make curfew. It was the best thing that has happened to my mouth since making out with Steven during my going-away party way too long ago to admit.
And it was all thanks to Justin. THANK YOU JUSTIN!
I'll hold off on telling you about Justin. Brad tells me I get too excited about the good ones, so I'm just going to focus on the fact that I had a great make-out session with a cute boy, and was reintroduced to an old love of mine. It's so nice to have it back!
In the spirit of full disclosure... I figured I'd share my online profile with you all. Would you date me?
I'm a 24-year-old California native, although I've spent the last few years living in Philadelphia, Hillsborough, Lyon, and Charleston. I consider myself feminine, but I'm also a big fan of rolling around in the mud on occasion. I'm very bright, although I have been known to have some blonde moments that are up there with the best of them. I play kickball in my spare time, and I dabble in scuba diving, singing, dancing, jewelry making, reading, writing, horseback riding, rugby, wine tasting, traveling, crummy guitar playing, and just about anything else I can think of that sounds like fun.
I'm a hoot. Seriously. I can't tell a joke to save my life, but I can keep you entertained and laughing nonetheless. Heck, my comedic stumbles are a big part of my charm!
I'm extremely outgoing, rarely embarrassed, and just about as confident as they come.
What I’m doing with my life
Goodness... what am I not doing with my life?
- I've got kickball, bowling, and what will soon be my debut into social running.
- I'm trying to turn myself into a running addict, and perhaps a marathoner by November 2011.
- I'm slowly but surely preparing myself for my return to school for a PhD in marketing.
- My bookshelves are being quickly filled with classic and new fiction.
- Anytime I can talk my friends into it, I like to spend my nights dancing.
- I've been saving money so that I can eventually own property, or perhaps take 6 months to a year off to travel the world.
- I would like to start a love affair with craft beer, but don't quite know how to get started.
- Whenever possible, I avoid my roommates' avid reality TV watching.
- I still try and get myself lost around the Boston area as often as possible in order to find hidden gems.
- When it comes to my time with my friends, the only way to describe it is "play time." (Taking ourselves seriously is not our strong suit.)
Oh... and I work ridiculous hours as a Marketing Consultant. Somehow, I manage to do all of it and still sleep!
I’m really good at
Another list! Whoopie!!!
- Designing and making jewelry. It's how I supported myself through my internship.
- Baking cupcakes. My favorites so far were Irish Car Bombs.
- Singing. If I can do it in front of an audience, all the better.
- Laughing. I've gotten a lot of practice.
- Snuggling. But only until one of us twitches while falling asleep. Then we need to separate.
- Witty repartee. I tease, because I love.
- Making people feel comfortable. I am rarely ever shocked, I don't judge, and I'm willing to support anything that can be enjoyed in a healthy way... in other words, I'm the person you tell when everyone else would judge, and it's my pleasure to do it!
- Hugs. This may sound like it's just repeating snuggling, but I assure you that they are different, and both spectacular.
- Dancing. I am not a ballerina, but I can most certainly make my way around the dance floor.
- Keeping myself entertained. Anything from appreciating the small things to making the effort to get out and experience what's going on around me. I attempt to try almost anything once, possibly twice if I think the first time might have been a dud.
The first things people usually notice about me
My smile and my energy are what I've been told make the biggest first impression. I like to keep on the sunny side of life, and part of that means being up for anything... the serious, the goofy, the random, the enlightening, and even the lazy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
There are only a few books I've met that I haven't liked. Since I do a lot of research during the day, I like to spend my weeknights getting lost in fiction or comedic memoirs. I've enjoyed David Sedaris to Fyodor Dostoevsky, Gabriel Garcia Marquez to J.R.R. Tolkein.
For a taste of my favorites, there's... Some Like It Hot, The Departed, Little Miss Sunshine, Amelie, Dogma, City of God, Fight Club, Love Actually, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Office Space, The Orphanage, The Princess Bride, To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Love Me If You Dare (Jeu d'Enfants), Wet Hot American Summer, Paris Je T'aime
This month's obsessions: The Black Keys, Mumford & Sons, Under the Influence of Giants, and my friend Morgan's New EP "OldNew."
As long as it's not cantaloupe or peppers, I'm good to go!
The six things I could never do without
In no particular order:
- Music (and the ability to sing and dance along.)
- My family and the friends that have become my family
- Crazy People on the T
- Laughing so hard that tears stream down my face
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spent 4 years studying cultural anthropology, so I definitely spend a lot of time thinking about what makes people tick. At any given moment, however, I could be thinking about the pitfalls of a particular government, a dirty joke, the horror that is leggings being substituted for pants, what word choice will make the most memorable statement to a consumer, where I stand on the spiritual spectrum, what I would do if I were president, whether or not I should drop everything and open up a bakery, how quickly I can justify a year sabbatical for travel, or the fact that my love of high heel shoes happens to be causing me to eat through my company's band-aid supply.
On a typical Friday night I am
On a typical Friday night I am doing one of these things, if not something completely out of the ordinary:
- Watching a movie
- Out dancing with friends
- Catching a concert
- Wine tasting
- Reading in bed and trying to catch up on sleep
- Digging into a DIY project
- Singing karaoke
- Roaming art galleries
- On my way out of town for a spot of traveling
- Eating a deeply satisfying meal at a fantastic restaurant
I am always up for suggestions, though!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
This right here.
I’m looking for
· - Guys who like girls
· - Ages 22-32
· - Near me
· - Who are single
· - For new friends, activity partners
You should message me if
You're looking for the kind of girl that jumps in fountains when there aren't big enough puddles and breaks into playgrounds at night just to fail at monkey bars. Either that, or you're jonesing for some of the best cupcakes you've ever tasted. ;-)
YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T MESSAGE IF (a.k.a. these people have messaged me, and it was oh-so creepy):
- You're old enough to be my dad by any stretch of the imagination
- The fact that I may not want to have kids is absolutely unacceptable to you
- You would like to proposition me for casual sex
- 100% of your photos are you staring broodingly into your webcam
Just a heads up on my blogging. I'm going to start out small. Here are some mini cupcakes to illustrate my point:
I realized that I'm certainly the kind of person that comes up with 20 ideas one day, and none for the next month, so I'm going to be back-logging my writing and sending it out at more regular intervals. It'll also give me (and maybe you) a chance to spread the word that I'm back, before you have to read 100 posts to catch up!
By the way, how's 2011 treating you all? I put myself to sleep about an hour after the ball dropped, and apparently missed quite a ridiculous after party at a strip club. Spending the next weekend in Puerto Rico happened to make up for my disappointment, though!
So... I admitted it. I'm an online dater. Yup... it happened.
And you know what? It's fun!!!
It all started as a means to have something to do on a Friday night. When I moved to Boston, I really didn't have ANYONE to hang out with. I needed people to go to museums with, walk along the Charles, explore new restaurants and bars, learn the lay of the land, and just get comfortable in a new city. Seeing as I knew kickball was going to be a few months away, and my roommates and I never quite hit the point of actually hanging out together outside the apartment, online dating seemed like an interesting idea. Particularly since I seem to be able to handle awkward with a certain level of grace and sense of humor.
Did it accomplish that? Sure! I mean, there was one week where I didn't buy myself a single dinner. I made it to the Institute of Contemporary Art, ate some of Boston's most famous pastries, sang at a karaoke legend before it had to close down, learned about greater Boston's neighborhood-based art walks (you get to go into artists' studios to see their work, and the environment they create it in!), gotten to discover new bands, done cupcake tours, found out that I really do like beer, finished off a few bottles on wine, and done several other things that I'm sure I've now forgotten were part of a "date."
Then the question comes along... why am I still internet dating? And there are multiple answers. The first is that online dating is quite a hilarious process. I receive messages every week that range from brilliant to unimaginative to creepy, I go on dates that are so awkward they're hilarious, and I have more stories to tell about funny moments than I know what to do with. (All will be shared in due time.) For instance, why would I give up "email" brilliance like this?
Hi I just liked sweet awesome profile and you have awesome personality. Do you mind get to know me?
And I have question for you: Do you think that when we say: “I love you” In that love there is always the sense of possessing and being possessed? ( if you don’t mind we can start conversation about these two questions and please feel free to ask question too
66% match 60% friend 37% enemy
Note: "Enemy" rating is when someone has answered a question in a manner that falls outside of my "mandatory" acceptable answers. This could be things along the lines of children, monogamy, politics, common decency, etc.
Another answer is that it still gives me options of things to do if I have a boring night ahead. And... AND... sometimes I really have some fun! Not all the guys are a mess. I've had several encounters with awesome guys, some where I saw a little potential, and some where I'm attempting to transform our relationship into friendship (how's that going? ...Well...ish.).
Online dating is also a perfect distraction from any possible pitfalls emanating from the traditional means of meeting guys. I meet tons of people through friends and my activities around Boston, but really... the pickings have yet to be anything but slim. So, why not expand my horizons?
Finally, it gives me something to blog about! We'll see if the messages keep coming in, but I have a nice little backlog for the moment to keep you all entertained. Hooray!
That's it. Seriously. It's that simple. Am I looking for everlasting love? No. Am I looking for flattery? No... but it's a nice perk. Can't a girl just take advantage of an opportunity right in front of her? And then blog about it?
After a couple months off, I realized that I miss blogging! Not only that, but I finally came up with some things to blog about. So... things to look forward to:
- Internet Dating: I'll tell you the full story later, but these posts will surely give you some giggles. I'll be posting some of the worst/funniest messages I've been receiving from OKCupid.com. I might also share some stories about dates. I've been on a lot by now, and some of them have wound up quite... bizarre. Maybe one day I can turn this into a book called "Faking It."
- Roommate Drama: T-7 months until my lease is up on this apartment, and I can find a new place to live, so I'll need an outlet to vent about the happenings at Casa de las très chicas muy différentes.
- Going back to school: I've decided I'm going to take the plunge and apply to grad school. This means retaking the GREs, talking to professors, writing applications, and pulling my hair out because I'm trying to do it simultaneously with work.
- Work: What pays for my rent, but keeps me frustrated on a fairly constant basis. It's amazing how messed up things can get when you have a bunch of smart people in a confined space.
- Cupcakes! Still love 'em. Still make 'em. But it turns out they're a more expensive habit than I originally thought. (Oops!) I'll try and fit them into my budget, so I can take pictures of my future experimental batches!
- Random thoughts/stories/observations: Everybody's got them, but mine tend to be unusual.
So, if you find out this is here again... come read!