26 October 2009

Success!! (and Pole Dancing)

Thank goodness!!! Today I finally had a successful non-yoga workout. I've been severely off my game the past few weeks, so it was nice to actually get in a productive chunk of cardio. I'm definitely going to move to classes from now on though, because I had to switch machines 3 times in order to keep myself from getting bored. (Arc trainer, bike, treadmill... none are very riveting.) Wednesday is currently set to be Tae Bo, and Friday will be Hip-Hop. If only I could get someone to tape me in hip hop... because I feel like that would be my funniest blog post by far.

Anyway, what I really want to talk about today is pole dancing. I need to find myself a pole dancing class, and here's why: Saturday night was Charleston's yearly night of debauchery aptly named "Skinful Halloween." If you'd like to see my outfit... my friend Joy has already attached photos. (I suggest you look at the whole album if you can, my outfit was not nearly the most scandalous.) Anyway, I spent my night dancing on the dance floor, in a cage, and up on stage with the band. Even though my narcissism was taking up a large portion of my thoughts, and rightfully so because I was looking HOT, I couldn't help but notice the pole dancers.

These ladies were unbelievable! They were spinning, kicking, twisting, climbing, and doing the splits in ways I hadn't yet imagined. Not to mention that every single one of them looked kick ass in their panties and bustiers... both in cuts that I have tried on in front of a mirror before, only to be disheartened and once again return to my polk-a-dot briefs and skin colored bra.

So, of course, today when I sat down at my desk for work... the first thing I looked up online was pole dancing classes in Charleston. Seeing as this morning, while walking home from the gym, I saw a painting of all of the past republican presidents playing poker up in the front window of a "fine art" gallery... you can imagine that I was skeptical about finding anything as risque as pole dancing classes, but apparently I have underestimated my southern belles!! Strip classes (pole classes are group-based and super expensive) are available 3 blocks away from me every week. I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to go... it sounds like a hoot, but there really is something lacking when you don't have a pole to jump on. (That's what she said.)

Also, I don't know why, but the idea of strip tease classes makes me uncomfortable. (This is where you're all shocked... because I just said that I danced in a cage in front of hundreds of people.) But can you picture it? There's an instructor, not teaching you tricks, but telling you how to disrobe yourself. And then what... you pretend to take of your clothes? I mean, there's no way they'd actually have you take of your clothes, right? So you're stroking your arms and shimmying your invisible skirt off... in front of a mirror and a room full of women (only women?). I think that's too awkward even for me, and that's saying something. I guess I'll have to stick to more traditional dance forms... or find a pole...


P.S. At skinful I made out with a guy dressed as a ballerina (ballerino??) with a giant penis. He had taken tubing and wrapped it around his leg. (In my defense, he was also a friend of a friend, and happens to be a veterinarian when he's not wearing tights and a sweatband.) While we were sitting together on a cooler, my friend Joy kept saying: "Katie, he saves puppies!" How could I not make out with him?? The man saves puppies!!!

1 comment:

Katie said...

If he saves puppies, it's a crime not to make out with him. It's pretty much like saying 'thank you'...except better.