I apologize for my absence. Last week was my company retreat, and I was in the middle of nowhere CT without a minute to write.
Now, today I got up early to go to the gym, because my most recent photos have reminded me that I've fallen off the healthy wagon and rolled down the hill. (I'm still GORGEOUS, don't get me wrong!) Anyhoodle... I was up, and I started having all these thoughts run through my head, and I thought I'd share them in chronological order.
- Oh wow. It's 6 am. Maybe I should go back to sleep. Wait... I'm not tired. Damnit!
- I have everything I need. Oh, wait, no... do I not have headphones? Oh man I almost forgot my shuffle... wait... do I not have the right music on my shuffle? I can't work out.
- I MUST WORK OUT. Did I delete my workout playlist? How am I supposed to work out without my workout playlist? There's no way I can make a playlist in enough time to work out before going to the office.
- WORK OUT, YOU LAZY ASS!!! Okay... genius a Black Eyed Peas song, and just get going.
- Is that a man in my apartment? Who in the world is the MAN in MY APARTMENT? Why is he only in his boxers? Oh... Oooooooh!
- How can the sun be out right now?
- Sir, why are you so angry? It is way too early in the morning to be yelling the F-bomb at people trying to clean the street.
- Take the route with the wind tunnel on the way to work... it's SO FREAKING HOT!
- What's my locker code? AH CRAP...
- Just keep running... just keep running... Hey! How come that old lady looks good in a sports bra and spandex shorts?
- Let's increase the speed the last three minutes.
- SPRINT THE LAST MINUTE!!!!!
- OH MY GOD, I MISCALCULATED AND IT'S NOT THE LAST MINUTE!!!!
- Jog the last minute!!!!
- It's a lovely day, isn't it?
- Ugh, do I only have eggs at home? Why do I never go grocery shopping?
- AH! I WOKE UP THE SLUMBERING MAN! Do I wave? I JUST WAVED!!! I'm so awkward.
- Is it inappropriate to shower when there's a half naked man in your apartment?
- OH MY GOOOOOOOD, THIS WATER IS COLD!
- Ahhhhh... fantastically cold shower.