16 November 2009

#1 My New Barry White

So, two things have inspired this post. One happened to be when I played this singer/songwriter for a friend on Friday night, and the other is just essentially my never-ending quest for the right music to play in any given situation.

First, let's talk about Barry. Given that he's been "sexy music" since the time I was born, Barry White has always creeped me out a wee. I don't want a tall, fat man with a crazy low voice speak-singing about "love making." I'm actually getting shivers right now just thinking of it.

Anyhoodle, I started trying to think of the musician that could fill the gaping hole that Barry White's creep-factor has left behind, and there was only one man that could fill it. (That's what she said.)


Alright... have you stopped laughing at me yet?? K... let's discuss. At first, Jason Mraz seems like a horrible idea for a Barry White replacement... but let's think about his songs. What are they? Thinly veiled discussions of the whole gamut of sexual experiences via metaphor, complete with catchy refrains. While Barry White tries to soothingly tell you about how he's going to touch you (like a pedophile), Jason Mraz tells it like it is. He wants it, wants it bad, and he tells you exactly how he wants it and what he's going to do to you. FANTASTIC!!!

Jason also has a good sense of humor about sex, which is key to any sort of encounter with a special someone, or the guy you met 20 minutes ago. (One of my favorite make-out sessions included me blowing into the guys mouth, and having his cheeks puff out like a puffer fish. He didn't enjoy it, until he realized that he could do it back to me, and we dissolved into a fit of giggles.) Finished a bit to early? There's a song for that. Left alone to your own devices? There's a song for that, too. He can be customized to fit your needs.

I also happen to believe his song "Butterfly" inspired an artist at the exhibit I went to on Friday... resulting in a vagina complete with wings and antennae. Although, technically, I believe the artist was mistaken. (So artist... fyi... Jason Mraz was calling the vagina a butterfly... he wasn't saying that the girl he was with somehow had some sort of hybrid genitals. Okay? Okay.) I'm going to take this as evidence of the fact that Jason Mraz is deep. Deep enough to merit using him as background noise during your precious moments.

Who is your new Barry White??


P.S. It's okay that you all have decided to comment on my posts by writing on my facebook wall or texting me. I feel the love... I just also feel like others would benefit from your hilarity.

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