16 November 2009

#3 Letter to an Unsuspecting Human Being

Dear Genuis Bar Dude (a.k.a. Casey),

First of all, have you managed to fix my computer? I would really appreciate if one of two things happened: Either, that my computer is really fine and you've managed to get me a battery that won't burn my legs after the computer's been on for 5 minutes. Or, that everything about my computer is hopeless, despite the fact that my hard drive is completely intact and salvageable, and that there is no other option than for you to give me a free computer, or for my father to buy me a new one. (Happy Birthday to me!!)

Now that we have that out of the way, let's move on to more pressing matters. You're cute! Don't think I didn't notice how quickly you corrected yourself when talking about your girlfriend, you mean ex-girlfriend. It was a not-so-subtle way of letting me know that you're single and ready to mingle that I truly appreciated. The other genius bar dude tried to say that he'd noticed me in the store a few times... but you knew better. You sang along to the Stevie Wonder song playing in the store, and although you weren't in the right key... it was still adorable enough to get me on your side with the ensuing epic battle of wits between you two. Remember how I insulted him two ways in one sentence? He said I wasn't funny, but you rebutted with the fact that you thought I was hilarious.(No... you're hilarious!)

I hope I was funny enough to keep your mind of the fact that my computer was not backed up, my apple care had expired, and my aluminum case was covered in dings. I figure I was, because you told me that as long as none of the damage was due to my clumsiness, you wouldn't charge me. That, or you liked my V-neck shirt.

Lastly, thank you for letting me know that your "wedding ring" was a fake designed to keep away the genius bar groupies. Obviously my thinly veiled attempt at flirtation was not deemed creepy. One piece of advice though, for those unwelcome flirtationists (flirts + exhibitionists), I really think you should get a different ring, seeing as yours was adjustable and made of steel. I'm just saying...

Love, Katie

P.S. This letter just reminded me of the "Missed Connections" on Craigslist... both in content, and in the fact that after reading through it, I felt pity for the overexaggerated version of myself. Letter FAIL.

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