05 November 2009

Moral of the Story...

Do you ever feel like the only thing getting in the way of you being fabulous is... you? Despite the fact that I wasn't supposed to be letting my mind wander... my hour stretching and bending, squatting and twisting, made me think about it. I'm the one who decides some challenges are too scary and quits, the one who grabs the last few doughnuts and hides the box in the bottom of the trash bin at work, the one who gives me permission to watch countless fictional people living on my computer screen (not even TV) instead of getting up and living my own non-fictional life. It's me.

So where the hell do I get off?? Who said that the only one who can be an utter asshole to me is me?? (Well, technically... that would be me.) I mean, think about it... would you let someone else maliciously stuff food into your face, knowing very well that their actions will fatten you up like a prize pig?? Would you let a coworker tell you that there's no way someone like you can possibly handle the challenge at hand? For those of you that are mildly combative like myself, the answer is HELL (fucking) NO! Man with the cake in his hand would get a swift introduction to the backside of my hand, and you know that bitch trying to tell me I can't do shit is going to end up getting her ass handed to her when I rock my presentation not only in content but in 5 inch heels.

So why in the world will I allow such rude behavior towards myself? Part of it's because I can, part of it's because I don't realize I'm doing it, but I think a lot of it is because it's so much easier.  It takes a lot of effort to be a good friend to yourself. For instance, imagine your friend told you to take any junk food out of her hand every time she grabbed it. One particular day, she's craving m&m's like it's nobody's business, and about every five minutes she's got a handful that you have to grab and put back in the bowl. Wouldn't you give in and tell her to just eat the freaking m&m's after about the 10th time?? Well... that's essentially you on a diet. And it transfers to almost any situation. Being nice to yourself is practically a full-time job, and it's becoming obvious that (at least by my standards) I'm one lazy piece of poop.

Here's where I'm going with this: I need to put on the proverbial big girl undies and grow the hell up. (Quit soiling myself... if you will.) Nobody is going to force me to be a good samaritan to the citizen of one in the land of Katie, it's all on me. Not to mention that other people have an excuse for being an ass to me... they have their own load of crap to deal with... but the only crap I have to deal with is my own crap. It would be illogical to say I can be mean to myself because I have my own stuff to deal with... I mean... I can't even figure out how to phrase the statement, let alone the argument.

So today's mantra is: Only you can soil yourself... but why would you want to?


P.S. Today a guy in yoga totally had old man smell. What the heck happens to your body that makes you ooze such a distinctive scent marker???!!!

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