15 January 2010

General Musings...

I think it's about time I sit and write something on this blog again. Links and cupcakes do not a blog make... no matter how awesome they are. Anyhoodle, recently I've been wondering if I'm a shithead. You know? Like... sometimes I sit and think about the thoughts that go through my head throughout the day, and the way I act, and it just hits me. I'm an asshole.


Let's think about this...

- I have never been in a relationship for more than 3 months. Why? Because I freak out at 3 months (or less) and convince myself that one moment more in the relationship will be the end of me. Most of the time it's not an issue, because it wouldn't have worked out in the end... but I've got one or two where I kick myself about ending it. And then, I realize that whatever I'm thinking is useless, because the guys are the ones that got dumped out of the blue! They never saw it coming! I was all cuddles and laughing and then BOOM!!! Shit move... although I guess it could be argued that cooling the jets for a while before ending it isn't all roses and sunshine either.

- I totally gossip about what women are wearing from 5 feet away from them. I'm pretty sure I've been heard at least a few times. If I overheard some stranger trash-talking me from 5 feet away, I think I'd cry.

- I judge fat people eating junk food, even though I happen to be carrying some extra heft myself.

- I have no patience with my mother. Anyone else in the world can ask me to do a simple favor, and I'd be happy to do it. My mom asks me to put away the dishes, and I act like she's just told me to impale myself on a white-hot poker.

- I ignore homeless people. I'm also very uncomfortable around mentally handicapped people and children.

- I would much rather a competitor fail than put in extra work to beat them. (I'm currently competing with every intern at this office, and I'm secretly plotting their demise.)

- I have no qualms taking the last of anything. If there's only one slice of cake left, it sucks that you didn't happen to get to it first.

- I make snap judgments about people based on their level of education. I always allow for them to prove me wrong, but that doesn't get rid of the fact that I came into things with a preconceived notion of their intellect.

- When I'm drunk, all the shit things I've been wanting to say to people come out. At the time, I think I'm being sassy. Many people have told be to drop one of the "S's" and the "Y," in order to give a more accurate description.

- I'm a flirt. It's apparently my innate manner of interaction. I'll stop if someone tells me to stop, but then I'll pout in the corner for at least a few minutes, and think about how mad I am at him/her for ending my fun... I might think they're jealous once or twice during those few minutes...

... and now I'm going to stop, because the idea of this list getting any longer is frightening. Guys... I think I might be an asshole!!!

Love,
Assy McAsserface

1 comment:

msphuongus said...

- I ignore homeless people. I'm also very uncomfortable around mentally handicapped people and children.

^^^ that one greatly amused me, since I work with children who have learning disabilities/mental handicaps. They're amusing!